On a Personal Note
By · on September 17, 2010Well, I did it. What, you ask? Facebook. Just now, I “outed” my hyperhidrosis to all my Facebook friends.
Yes.
Imagine all of the people who have friended me from High School (High School!!!), college, old jobs, current acquaintances from my children’s school… all of the people I hid my HH from all my life… they all know now. And I am shaking and… sweating (ah, bien sur!).
I have a Facebook fan page for this website (I hope you have seen it and “like”-ed it). The way Facebook works, if you have a personal profile and you then would like to start a fan page for, say, a website, then that fan page resides “inside” your personal account. Therefore, the two are tied together. So if you would prefer that your fan page be utterly separate from your personal page, tough luck.
I did not fully realize this at first, being a “newbie” to Facebook, and rather old. By the time I had established Hyperhidrosis And Me’s Facebook presence, it was rather too late. With each hyperhidrosis-themed status update that showed up on my Wall, and with each new person who showed up from my past with a friend request, that ashamed little girl inside of me cringed. OK, the grown up part of me cringed too. I could not even look the moms at school (who had friended me) in the eye.
Are you surprised by this admission of current shame? Perhaps you think me a hypocrite. After all, what do I say all over this website about Speaking Out about hyperhidrosis? I say quite vehemently “Hyperhidrosis is what you have, not who you are.” I preach about all of that all over this site, on my Facebook page, on Twitter, and on many website “comments” sections and in several blog network sites.
Therein lies the catch. All of that soapbox preaching has occurred online. The safe anonymity of the Internet was my safety net, my mask. Offline, I have only chosen to practice what I preach to a select few acquaintances and friends. Well, to give myself some credit, I have been candid about it to many more people recently. It has gotten easier with practice. I have chosen who exactly knows my little secret, and I have controlled when, where, and how I have shared it.
But with Facebook? There was no controlling who of my FB “friends” saw my hyperhidrosis postings. I was left to block out what they may have been thinking. To them, part of me knows that it was really not a big deal, that whatever they learned about me and my “secret” perhaps gave them pause but did not really mean much at the end of the day. To me, though, as I am certain some of you know, it became the elephant in the room. I had to address it.
Do I feel better? Not yet. I will have to get back to you on that– that little girl inside of me wants a lemon drop martini.
Link to this page
Ay mujer, it is ok!!!!!
You did something very good. You took a HUGE step. HUGE! Did I mention, HUGE? Honey, when we use the web as a soapbox the way we do, its to support the process of others as we support that same process in ourselves. The karma we put out into the universe, comes back to us, and so as we help, we are helped.
We practice what we preach, but its a process and no one expects perfection – in fact, no one wants that because that is boring. They learn as you learn. You opened a door, believe it or not. A door for someone else to say, “I don’t need to hide this anymore.”
So What do I think? I Think YAYYYYY!! Break out the martinis – but only to CELEBRATE!!!!
*happy dance*
You’re free. Yup. Free.
It’s scary to open up your soul like that – bc honestly, that’s what it was. All the years of embarrassment frustration and sometimes just complete sadness, exposed.
So I am glad you are acknowledging the COURAGE it took to do what you did.
You will feel better about it soon. I just know it.
Sending you positive thoughts!!!!
Now go to the mirror and tell yourself the following: “You Rock.” Because you do.
Best,
Li
@LaLicenciada
@HerDeepThoughts
Li, I am so thankful for your support. I was out last night and saw your message and it meant so much to me; how can I tell you how much? I don’t know how you found my blog but am thankful to the Blessed Mother that you somehow did. Thank you for truly “getting it”.